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#35: Face off_M S Dhoni


Disclaimer: The post is totally fictitious and resembles no real interview.


Hello, aadaab, lei ho, aloha, ciao, vanakkam, salaam Namaste. This is your favourite host Shashvat Saxena back again with yours all time favourite show…  Face 2 face with Shashvat Saxena.

Interlude drum…

As always I’ll begin the show with a question that I’ll answer at the end. And that question is… Which format of cricket is an edible item? Think about it and let me call the guest of honour today. He’s the heart of nation, the coolest man and not the most eligible bachelor now. Please welcome the captain of Indian Cricket Team Mr. Mahendra Singh Dhoni.

Interlude Trumpet, with clapping.

SS: Hello sir. It’s nice to have you here. (Than in stadium especially looking at your batting nowadays)
Dhoni: Thank you Shashvat. (Even I feel safer here…) 

SS: You must have been reached here via Helicopter.
Dhoni (Amazed): How you come to know that?

SS: How else you could be? We haven’t seen your helicopter shot since long. So thought you must be using it for transportation.
Dhoni: Good criticizing joke but see it’s like you can’t always score 100…

SS: (pehle 10 to bana le…) Anyways Nice journey by far in World cup. Is there any particular strategy to which you always followed?
Dhoni: Not actually. I guess batsmen did his job with bat and bowlers bowled well.

SS: (Shouldn’t be there a rule for Wicket keeper too…) Next is Mohali, the most trending topic on Twitter now days. Are your boys prepared for it?
Dhoni: Oh yes, they are doing net practice. (to learn the brand new Sledging words on net…)

SS: Would also like to ask the most asked question on Facebook? Who will win at Mohali? India or Pakistan?
Dhoni: (Better you would have asked who will stay alive after match…) Well, both the teams have got some advantages and some disadvantages. May the best team win, and for me, I guess team India is the best team in the world.

SS: Munaf Patel. Why don’t you replace him with Sreesanth?
Dhoni: (Coz I’ve got Harbhajan…) I believe in Munaf. He’s struggling little bit. But I’m sure; he’ll get his line and length before Mohali. He needs time.

SS: (So as you…) In your 5th ODI against Pakistan in 2005 you scored 148 at Vishakapatnam, India and in your 5th Test against Pakistan in 2006 you scored 148 at Faisalabad, Pakistan. Anything that links both stats?
Dhoni: (1,48,000 for fixing…Tab to jyada milta bhi nahi tha…!) I guess coincidence…

SS: Sir, You’ve tied up with Rhiti Sports Management and Mindscapes and are promised a minimum guarantee of Rs 210 crore over the next three years. What are your plans of spending it…?
Dhoni: First I’ve to ask Sakshi what amount she’s going to give me…

SS: Cool. Well my last question is Motera to Mohali to Mumbai. Is there any “M” Factor for “M” S Dhoni… or this is why people find you the luckiest captain?
Dhoni: I think when you show your commitment, destiny does repay you. Thanks for wishes on Mumbai. Winning at Mohali does matter much more to Mumbai.

SS: Thanks a lot sir. It was a nice inning with you. Best wishes for World cup from unit and viewers of Face 2 face with Shashwat Saxena. May our dream come true this year.

Interlude saxophones with applaud.

So, Ladies and mentalmen, I mean Gentlemen, here ends today’s episode of Face 2 face with Shashvat Saxena and before you switch the channel, answer to the question that I had asked in the beginning is… ODI format… Didn’t get it? Just like 20-20, It’s 50-50… Signing off now. Do wait for me and some new guests on your favourite show Face 2 face with Shashvat Saxena broadcasting on Channel Random Strokes… Till then See you, Sayonara, Hasta la vista, Rub rakha, khuda hafiz, aavjo vhalaa fari malishu.
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