#16: On the Edge...!

A tough decision, I've taken to write this but... This is where I am right now... On the Edge...!

It took 12 years and 4 months to begin the first step towards the destination of my life. In march-1998, my eyes saw a dream, a dream to become a Film Director, a dream of receiving Filmfair award and in reply to that a thanksgiving speech. (that i still murmur all the time, off course with some changes always.) A 13 year old boy had seen the future. Time went on and I started realizing that it's not easy to get in the industry. What to do now to get in? What if I give all the things for what a producer needs to hire many persons. I started composing songs. Stories were my companion since long and I believed (others too..!) that I can dance really well. So I had now story, screenplays and songs written as well as composed, and I can serve as choreographer, cinematographer and as an editor too. My confidence started boosting. I kept doing my work with my studies for next ten years. In the last sem, I got the offer from ABG Shipping Co. and Reliance Industries Ltd. I joined in Reliance. Heart kept saying don't go for the jobs but mind said let the time come. I continued to Novel Writing and other Song making work or something, parallel to my hardcore shift-wise job.

Time came on the date 30 June 2010 when I resigned from a nice packaged job, left Reliance and came in the field of uncertainty. Too many questions flew for such silly decision, too many wishes rained on my guts, all it happened for a week or two. But what now? The most difficult time of one's life is what I'm facing right now. You know it's going to happen. You know things gonna work right. But you've to wait for it. You know that all eyes are on you. Everyone's waiting for you to perform now. You know the darduras are hunting for your one mistake to prove themselves right and you too know that you have to step carefully to avoid yourself falling into the valley of the shadow of death of dreams. This is what we call... living on the edge.

It was never easy or still isn't. But you survives on the edge with the support of dear ones. Family's support, indeed plays the most important role in your life's riskiest decisions. (that favored me a lot of being a part of such family.) The next, comes the friends' inspiring words (Especially when one have a group like "D's.") that makes you feel stronger than before. You took one more deep breath, energize yourself, visualize the dream one more time and walk ahead without fearing the Edge. Every new dawn you refill your eyes with the same dream on new canvas. Life redefines by this attitude when you know the game is unpredictable and you kept on playing till your last breath without worrying for the result.I had heard Rudyard's words before 12 years that I never forgot. (which still inspire me.) Those were... "And so Hold On.., When there is nothing in You.., Except the Will which say.., Hold On..!" - DJ.